Thursday, May 20, 2010

Yikes! BP CEO Hayward Declares Gulf Cleanup "Extremely Successful"

Tell George W. Bush we’re bringing his jersey out of retirement and signing Tony Hayward.

In recent interviews, Hayward has simply outdone himself. The 53-year-old BP executive is now calling his company’s response effort “extremely successful” (see right for an image of the 40-ton containment dome that was promptly lifted from the leakage site after being lowered and failing to perform properly).

The admirably humble Hayward admits “we made a few mistakes early on.” But that’s a little strange, considering his smug remarks in a later interview:
“Do I feel that anything I’ve done I would have done differently? Not at all.”
Really? Seriously? This unapologetic tone has plagued BP demeanor over the past several weeks, leaving Gulf Coast residents high and dry when it comes to accounting for the multi-billion dollar losses experts forecast for hard-hit local industries like tourism and fishing. Hayward, meanwhile continues marching to his own beat:
“I believe ultimately that if we can win the hearts and minds of communities that are impacted, then we have the potential to enhance our reputation.”
Funny, is the way to communities’ hearts and minds to refuse payment to clean-up volunteers without excessive documentation? Is it to subtly sneak clauses about waiving damages payments into these volunteer contracts? What about publicly lying about the oil spill rate by double-digit multiples? Nevertheless, the gallant British knight flaunted his chivalrous colours:
“I’m a great believer that when things are not going well the leader should step forward and be seen to be present and take responsibility.”
Unfortunately, Hayward did not deem the House of Representatives subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations hearing an important time to be present. Neither, apparently, was it time for the “leader” to step up and take responsibility for the spill at the earlier Senate hearing where BP, Transocean, and Halliburton were admonished by President Obama for their childish finger-pointing.

Perhaps, though, we must simply learn to trust in the intelligent leadership of men like Hayward. Oops, did I say intelligent?
“How much redundancy should be built into a blowout preventer? I think it would be reasonable to say more than we had.”
What tipped you off, Tony?

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